30 years a go or more
 standing in front of you
 beautiful 

 lust and need 

saying the words
cutting the skin 

the running red 
the flowing perfect 
the purple flowers
 
rain of kisses on skin 
hurting inside 

all the words 
every right
every wrong 

I took all of them
into my heart 

restraints around  wrists 
love in someone elses eyes 

floating in the light 
clouds of red and yellow and green 
so fired up 
so fucking hard 
 
I could never walk away 

and so what if yesterday we fought
and so what if it was yesterday I fought 

I am feeding the monster inside 

standing the park
screaming at the moon 
taking me home 
 panic in the kitchen

and if you love me you will hurt 
me and if you hurt me you will 
break me and if you break  me 
will you love me and if you love 
me will you mend me and if you 
mend me will you hurt me  

and I will I make the music 
the words the songs 
 
and I still drink the  liquid 
making
endless days of possibilities 
ending the days 
days of possiblities 
days of ending 
the
possibilities of ending days

and you are just jealous 
 
it doesn’t hurt

that knife against my skin 
in your hands or mine
 
the kiss in the mirror 
torn lips against the shards

because 

when all is said and all is done 
these things are just echoes 
of something that happend at 
the start of me 
 
things that cast a shadow down 
my years.